My first shower!

Last Saturday two of my amazing friends - Claire and Jessie - threw me a baby shower! It was so much fun! Here are some pictures from it:

game table! everyone had to write down a random fact about themselves and I had to guess who said what!

Claire's amazing oatmeal chocolate chip cupcakes!!

food table! raspberry macaroons and balsamic strawberries with whipped cream - these girls went all out!

me and nellie getting some treats! it looks like nighttime but there was really just a thunderstorm going on!

party people!

nellie and kali writing their random facts

me and jessie

playing games and snacking!

claire playing the game where you get 30 seconds to feel around in a bag and you have to guess the baby items in the bag!

i was probably the worst at this game lol

kristin got a ton and she was balancing baby elliot on her lap at the same time!

opening presents!

the cutest baby bath robe ever!!

reading mandy's card

stocking up on baby goodies!

baby sling!

claire made this picture and then everyone went around and dipped their thumbs in paint and put a "leaf" on the tree and said a wish or a blessing they had for me, eric and baby! such a cute idea!!

mandy saying her wish

kali putting her thumbprint on the tree

Overall it was a wonderful shower and I am so lucky to have such awesome friends! Only a little over 11 weeks to go!

28 week picture!

xoxo Paula

28 weeks!

wow it has been a long time since I have posted on this blog! sorry friends :)
I have been super busy helping plan my sister's wedding which is coming up on May 19th and every day just seems to end with me flopping into bed exhausted.
last week when I was at the doctor they told me our baby is two pounds two ounces! everything is still looking great and healthy. some friends of mine are throwing me my first baby shower this Saturday and I am super excited! we still have some storage stuff from moving to clear out of the baby's room but then we can start decorating! I can't believe I only have about 12 weeks left before I get to meet the little guy that has been jazzercising in my tummy every night! we have a lot to look forward to this summer and I can't wait!

xoxo Paula

confusion

There has been a lot of confusion lately surrounding my blood and what to do about it. I had a blood clot ten years ago and discovered that I have a genetic disorder that makes my blood clot easier. Through lots of tests and hospital stays it was determined that it was the genetic disorder combined with a rib pressing on my vein that ultimately caused the clot. So they removed part of the rib and sent me on my way.
In the past ten years I have never needed to be on blood thinners or have my blood tested periodically because they believed that it was the rib that really caused everything to happen. Now that I am pregnant though it has been a whole different story. Pregnancy in general puts everyone at a higher risk of clotting because of all the added hormones but it puts me at a higher risk because I have a genetic disorder and an even higher risk because I have actually had a blood clot before (a lot of people have the disorder I have and never have a blood clot).
The confusion started when the midwife I am seeing requested the notes of all the testing I had done ten years ago; apparently my primary office sent over some of the notes but not all of them. When she got them she discovered that I had also tested positive for another blood clotting disorder, in addition to the one I already knew I had. She sent these test results to my perinatologist who called me and told me that he wanted to have these same tests done again since it was so long ago and have me see a hematologist because if I was still testing positive for this second disorder then we would need to re-evaluate my plan. My plan was that I had started taking blood thinning injections since December 2011 as a precaution against another blood clot, but if this test came back positive we might need to add something else to the plan and it would make my postpartum care a lot more complicated. 
Yesterday we went to the hematologist's office to get the results of the tests. All the tests came back negative, which is great and I guess that the second disorder is one that can fluctuate so it isn't unheard of that someone can test positive at one time and negative at another.
Then the hematologist told me that he doesn't think I need to be on the blood thinning injections at all. This is where I got confused because he said that he believes the real reason I had the clot to begin with is because of that pesky rib and since the rib had been removed I should be in the clear. I was hesitant because my perinatologist told me he was prescribing the injections because of the fact that I had a clot ten years ago and that in itself puts me at higher risk of having another one.
Today we went to the perinatologist's office to find out what was going on. He said that he had been reading a lot about it and he talked with the hematologist on the phone and overall he wasn't sure what to recommend to me. He said if I tell you to go off the blood thinners and you do and you get a clot I've failed you and if you stay on them and you bleed too much after delivery I've failed you. The risk of me getting a blood clot is much higher though than bleeding too much after delivery. So he told us to go home and think about it and he gave us a study to read about it. I think that for now I am going to stay on the blood thinners because I'd rather be safe than sorry. Another factor in all this though is the cost; the injections without insurance cost close to $800 a month. Luckily the most we've had to pay is $350 and it has gone down from there but at the end of this month our insurance is going to change because Cargill is only paying for Cobra for us through April.
It's all just a super confusing situation and on top of all that we are dealing with Eric being offered a job and then having the company take their offer back and planning my sister's wedding for the end of May. So all in all we have been pretty stressed out. Oh yeah, and we just finished moving into our new apartment! It has been a crazy couple of weeks! Here is a picture though:

22 weeks!

I will keep you updated on what we decide to do and if you have any advice we'd love to hear it!
Also prayers for our health and sanity would be appreciated :)
xoxo, Paula

Quick update

21 weeks

Well I'm actually 22 weeks today but I haven't taken a picture yet so here is last weeks for everyone to see! This week I went back to the perinatologist to get blood drawn so they can run some tests which we'll find out the results from at the beginning of April.
2 good news things! Eric got a job!!!! We're so excited and I am so proud of him! And my friend Kristin gave birth to a beautiful baby boy today!!
That's all for now! Have a great weekend!!
xoxo Paula

20 weeks - half way there!

Today Eric and I went in for our third ultrasound and we were so excited because today we were going to get to find out if it's a boy or a girl!

20 week belly picture

will it be a boy or a girl??

I'm guessing boy!

all ready for the ultrasound!

When we got to our appointment we told the doctor that we didn't want to know if it was a boy or a girl. We said we wanted him to write it on a piece of paper and put it in a sealed envelope because later we were going out to dinner and we were going to have the gender revealed to us through our dessert! My friend Erica suggested going to get cheesecake and having the server put blueberries on it for a boy or strawberries for a girl and since cheesecake sounded really, really good to me I thought it was a great idea! So after the appointment I went home and packed (cause we're moving at the end of the month) and Eric went to my parent's house to help with a construction project. I was so anxious all day sitting next to that envelope - I just wanted to tear it open and find out!!

getting ready to leave for dinner - here's our envelope!

if you're going for cheesecake you must go to the best!

We tried to eat our dinner at a normal pace but I'm pretty sure I was eating super fast cause I just wanted to get to dessert! We decided that we just wanted a piece of the raspberry lemon cheesecake so we told our server about the envelope and asked if she could write on the plate "It's a boy" or "It's a girl" - she was really sweet and super excited to be able to share in our big moment! We were sitting on pins and needles waiting for her to come back with the cheesecake...

IT'S A BOY!!!

we are so excited!!

yay for a boy!!!

we couldn't be happier!

So we're having a baby boy in July!! We are super excited!
xoxo Paula

18 weeks 4 days!

hello!
since I wrote last eric and I found a 2 bedroom apartment to move into next month and I am both excited (for the new place with a special room designated for our baby) and not excited (to pack all our junk and move).  we have already had several people offer to help us though which is great because I won't be much help carrying bed frames and dressers.
at 17 weeks and 2 days I felt the baby move for the first time! it was so exciting because before then I had thought I felt some movement but that day there was a significant amount of movement! I really wanted eric to be able to feel it too so he sat with his hand on my tummy for about ten minutes and then decided he wasn't going to be able to feel anything. but at 18 weeks 2 days (while we were watching the oscars) the baby was doing lots of somersaults so I told him to put his hand on my tummy again and within about 30 seconds he felt what must've been a giant somersault and his eyes just got huge! he was so shocked/surprised/excited! I teared up a bit because I know in that moment it got a lot more real for him. so we've just been enjoying that and gearing up for our move next month!
also eric had an interview on monday that went really well! so everyone cross your fingers and pray that he gets it!

18 weeks!

someone mistakenly added liquid dish soap to the dishwasher instead of detergent so I came around the corner to a kitchen full of bubbles last night lol - at least he was trying to help clean up!
that's about all for now!
xo, Paula

the search is over!

enjoying some time at home tonight watching the grammy's and eating breakfast for dinner - yum! I visited two more doctors offices last week and we have finally decided on a clinic! super exciting cause now we know for sure where we will be going and we get to have a midwife!! when I went to the appointment it just felt like everything fell into place - we also visited fairview which is where both eric and I were born. we chose to go with generations women's health center though and we're excited and relieved to be done searching.
the job search also continues this week. I'm hoping to hear back from a place I interviewed at a week ago and I'm also going to talk with a long time family friend and owner of a hair salon in white bear lake to maybe do some reception work part time which would be amazing. eric is continuing to look too but in the meantime he's been painting houses with my uncle danny which has been an amazing blessing since his unemployment payments won't start til this week even though he's been laid off since january.
besides that my pregnancy book collection has been growing and I'm trying to read a bit of all of them cause I want to know as much as possible about what's going on and especially about birth!

here is my baby book collection!

me and hunter at anna's birthday celebration! 

16 weeks! finally a little bump to show for it!

that's all for now! xoxo paula

quick update

today I went in for my 15 week check up and everything looks great! I ended up going back to my GP because I haven't found an OB that I like or a midwife that will take us on as patients. there is still hope though! I have one more midwife group to call and see if we can get in with them. other than that I have been to the chiropractor twice for some serious low back pain but all in all things are going well.
I also had 3 job interviews this week so hopefully one of those turns out and I can quit cleaning since that seems to be what causes the back pain. we'll keep our fingers crossed and see!
eric is doing well too - he's been interviewing up a storm so hopefully he gets some call backs soon.
i promise to write more next time!
xo paula

facebook baby

last night we made our baby news public by putting it on facebook! it was really fun to see all the congratulations and happy comments from people who support us and love us. it's also nice now that everyone knows the big news AND that my morning sickness is pretty much gone! yay!
now we just have to work on finding the right person to be in the delivery room with us. I have been reading a lot about different birth stories and I think that we have decided to go with a midwife for the birth of our baby. we saw a general doctor, a perinatologist and an OB/Gyn and I haven't met with the midwife yet but I did get to talk to one on the phone and I think that my idea of how I want the birth to be closely matches what they do. I'm excited to meet with them!
we're still working on finding jobs and saving money so hopefully things keep looking up!
xo, Paula
P.S. 14 weeks on friday!

i live in a nest of blankets this week

okay so today marks day 3 of feeling gross and not leaving the apartment. well I guess it's day 2.5 because on tuesday I did get up early and drive to maple grove to clean one house (where I felt awful and had to sit down on a bed upstairs while I was supposed to be dusting) but then I went home and napped until it was time to go to family fun night at my aunt's house. I admit I was feeling a bit better at family fun night but I just can't get rid of this awful cough.
yesterday I didn't even bother to change out of my jammies - it was bad. I was in bed all day until I moved to the living room for a change of scenery and to watch a movie and then it was back to bed for this girl. this morning I woke up still feeling gross and not having slept well from coughing all night plus a headache convinced me that I better stay home and try to shake this awful, energy-sucking cold vs. bundling up on the coldest day of the winter season so far and trying to clean two houses.
it has been really hard cause we really need the money but I can hardly stand the thought of having to "get ready" much less get on my hands and knees and start scrubbing floors.
pretty sure if I wasn't pregnant my bosses would've let me go by now. I've missed a fair amount of work but I honestly don't know what to do when I feel awful like this. it's not like I'm at the mall shopping or out having lunch with friends. it's frustrating cause I feel like I need to justify myself for staying home sick and not pulling it together somehow and going to work - especially right now with Eric being laid off too. I think the anxiety is getting to me while I sit here stewing in my nest of blankets. I've been trying to keep it away but as I'm writing this I can sense it creeping in.
SIDE NOTE: if anyone reading this is a billionaire would you mind donating money to us so that we can pay off all our debts and I can stay home and not have to worry? thanks! that'd be great!
anyway, Eric has had several interviews which is encouraging but we have also decided that we are going to move to a 2 bedroom apartment in a different complex. it will be cheaper which is good but we have to move in april so I'll be 6 months pregnant and we were really, really hoping that the next time we moved it would be into a house but since Eric got laid off that's no longer an option. we've been at our current place for 2 years now and I really love it here so it's going to suck to have to move to another temporary living situation.
(exhausted face) isn't it crazy when you're sick you can do nothing and still feel exhausted? well I guess that's enough sharing for now. baby is doing well! we have our first appointment with the obstetrician on monday! send up some prayers if you think of us! xo Paula

second ultrasound

 today Eric and I went in to see the perinatologist and have our second ultrasound to make sure everything is going well with the blood thinners.  the first time I went I had an ultrasound but I couldn't really see anything beside what looked like a little lima bean. this time it looked like a real baby and it is super cute! everything is measuring normal and looking fine so hopefully things keep going well! here are some pics from today!

Baby Palen!

I think it looks like the baby's smiling in this one :)

Super exciting!! xo Paula

sick of feeling sick

everyday I wake up hoping that I won't feel sick. so far it hasn't happened. some days are better than others and today is a particularly worse day. I have only thrown up twice (throughout everything so far) but it's that yucky in between stage when you just feel like you're going to throw up but never do - that's how I feel! gross. hopefully it will be over soon. most people say they started feeling better around 14 weeks which means that maybe by the end of January I'll feel better. we'll have to wait and see.

in more exciting news we got to hear our baby's heartbeat last Friday at my first OB appt! that made it seem a lot more real since I have only been feeling sick and bloated - it was fun to have something positive happen for a change. other than that we heard all about genetic testing we could have done but we've decided that we don't want to do it cause it sounds invasive and we're keeping this baby no matter what! now we are trying to find an OB who works with higher risk pregnancies because of my blood clotting disorder. I have been giving myself the injections of blood thinner every evening (or rather Eric has been giving them to me cause I can't stick myself without being weirded out) and they sting!!

now we are just praying that Eric can find a new job and we can start putting away some money. so that's pretty much all the updates for now I will include some belly pictures next time too - even though there still isn't anything to see yet! one of these days I'm hoping that I pop!